Paper Wings All Torn & Bent

Pregnancy

2012-01-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

This is me Christmas morning, at 38 weeks pregnant. I was HUGE. In the end I had only actually gained 44 lbs. over the course of the pregnancy, but because I'm small it looked like a whole lot more.

Up until my 36th week, I had the ideal pregnancy. I had some wicked morning sickness the first trimester, but that comes with the territory, and usually means that the pregnancy is healthy. I was adorable and gained very little weight. I loved being pregnant! Around week 36 after a routine visit, I was diagnosed with pregnancy related high blood pressure. Stress induced. Thank you stressful work place. I think it also had to do with the time of year...Christmas. Not to mention getting ready for baby, and my incessantly stressful and demanding job.

When I was diagnosed with the high blood pressure, my boss told me to not bother coming back to the office. I found myself off 2 weeks before I anticipated! It was perfect. The stress melted away. I was able to prep for baby, clean and organize my house, prep for Christmas and nap....oh the naps. The Doctors were talking about inducing me but the kept putting it off. I was being monitored by anti-natal home care nurses and had a weekly fetal assessment. My blood pressure remained elevated, but not enough to induce. My fetal assessments continually showed a big baby (90th percentile)...but always on the border of having to induce.

Christmas came, and so did my cankles. Right around Christmas I was ay my peak uncomfortable stage. I was huge (take a gander), swollen, cranky, fat, tired, anxious and unable to have a glass of wine. At that time I actually hated being pregnant. My Obstetrician decided to induce me on December 29th. Long story short, they induced me 3 times. The first couple of times it didn't take0. I got to know the nurses at St. Boniface triage quite well. The 3rd time seemed to work...almost 48 hours later things looked to be progressing, but not enough to keep me at the hospital. They sent me home at 3 a.m. I went to bed, but had to get up to walk of the contractions at 6 a.m.. I made it downstairs, and my water broke on my bathroom floor. It was unmistakable. A giant gush on the bathroom floor. Showtime. And back to to the hospital we went.

My plan was to have a peaceful, drug free labour. We brought along all of our 'tools' that they told us about in pre-natal class. We had big plans...all of which went to hell in a hand basket...but you'll have to wait at the edge of your seat for the next post.

Welcome to the world little one!

2012-01-20T17:05:00.000-08:00

Meet Caitlin Ruby- June Livingstone. The apple of my eye, the sunshine in my life. Born January 1st, 2012. Weighing in at 10 lbs 1/2 oz. My beautiful baby girl. She's perfect, and we love her more than we ever thought possible.

As perfect as she is, she came into this world with a reluctant bang...labour story and nursing nightmares to follow...in the meantime, feel free to bask in the glory of her cuteness.

Little One

2011-12-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

Well, here I sit 39 week pregnant and waiting to be induced. I was on this list for today...but the hospital is too busy with higher risk people. A few weeks ago they discovered I had high blood pressure. They made me stop working and I have been on "take it easy" house arrest for the last few weeks. I'm still in the safe zone, but that's where they wanted me to stay so I've been told to take it easy.
It's nice. I'm not on bed rest, so I am still able to do things- putter, clean, do laundry, cook, shop, visit...but I have the freedom to rest when it's time. Now I'm just getting anxious to meet our little girl. She's apparently close to 9 lbs, and very healthy with chubby cheeks. We have a fetal assessment every week so I get to see her all the time!
C'mon Caitlin Ruby-June! Let's get the show on the road! Your Mamma and Daddy are anxious to meet you.

Back from my Hiatus

2011-10-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

It's high time I started blogging again. I've have no excuse, I just seem to be generally busier in life, have less time for thinking and creativity, and less time to write.

I suspect that I will have a little more time on my hands for things I would like to do once I go on maternity leave. I am now almost 27 weeks pregnant...nearing the end of my second trimester. Our baby girl is due January 5th 2012. So far I've had a fairly uneventful pregnancy. I'm feeling great, baby is healthy and all is right on track. We've decided on the name Caitlin Ruby-June (Catie).That could change in the next 13 weeks, but it's doubtful. It's traditional Irish, it's adorable and it's classic.

Some other names we've had in mind:
- Brigid (if we have a girl next time around this is it)
- Abigail (Abby is sooo cute)
~~- Molly~~

We made the mistake of sharirn the name with people when they ask. I guess we just took for granted that the people in our lives have enough class and respect to keep their negative opinions to themselves. Apparently my Mother in Law is an exception to that rule, as she is to many rules. She apparenly had her heart set on the name Molly. So, out of spite I've ruled it out all toghether. The more she pushes the issue, the more I love the name Cailtin. For the record, she also expressed symapthy when we told her it was a girl. For my own sanity, I'm going to choose to ignore that one.

D and I have done some renovating on this old house. I'm kicking myself for not having taken more before and after pictures. So far all is going according to plan. We've got big plans that invlove some pretty major renovations, and I anticipate we will be done in 5 years. That's playing it safe. I want to make sure that we financially positioned to maintain a life style that will allow us to travel and buy pretty things. We've done pretty good so far with making sure that we are not house-poor, and our total debt is far less than most people's mortgage.

More to come...

The end of a decade...

2010-01-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

So 2009 has come to an end and so have my 20s...

It's been an interesting decade and by far the best year of my life. Over the last year I:

- Planned a DIY wedding
- Took my first all- inclusive sub- tropical vacation to Cuba
- Bought & moved into our first 'new' 101 year old house
- Married the love of my life
- Bought a 'new' Jeep

As always new years is for me a time of self evaluation. Since I strongly believe you get what you put out there..here is my plan & list of resoultions:

- Get my general life on track: plan meals a week at a time and shop for groceries on sundays.
- Eat dinner before 6 p.m. on weekdays
- Eat heatlhier- consistently (ie get back on the gluetin free/ sugar free wagon) by Monday. I've done it for the last 3.5 years, but have given myself a bit of a break since the wedding. Now I'm starting to see it. And feel it. Time to get back on track. To make it easier I will allow myself on cheat/ pizza night per month. Last Sunday of every month.
- Eat/ Drink a smoothie for breakfast every day.
- Walk an hour a day at least 4 days per week, regardless of the weather
- Do yoga at least 3 days per week
- Drink at least 3 litres of water per day
- Lose 30 lbs by July 1st. That's 25 weeks...1.2 lbs per week...completely do-able.
- Cut down on wine. Limit myself to 1 glass ONLY on weeknights
- Drink more herbal tea
- Quit smoking completely by my 31st birthday
- Ahem...think about a baby but certainly not before the fall.

k...really I thought I was done.

2009-10-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

But apparently not...I still have yet to see all of the wedding photos. There may be a few more to come...

Ok maybe one more wedding post...

2009-10-13T19:11:00.000-07:00

Our Wedding song:

My huband found it less than a week before the big day. Amazing how perfection works out.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

2009-10-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

Our wedding was perfect. Quite possibly the best day of my life. Realistically, more beautiful and magical than I could have ever imagined.

Every little detail worked out perfectly, and was noticed and admired by our guests.

The weather was perfect, as it always is in the sleepy little town of Clearwater. Not too hot, not too cool. A sunny fall day.

My step dad drove me up in the bad ass 58 Dodge Polara, and walked me to my Dad. My Dad walked me to my Grampa, who walked me down the aisle to my soon to be husband.

A good friend married us, and my Aunt said an Irish Blessing. We wrote our own vows, that suited our personalities, our relationship, and made people laugh. We were married under a willow arbor, hand made by my mom, under the trees, in a ball park.

Each song for the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner hour and reception was hand picked by us.

My mom, with a little assistance, did ALL of the decorating, bouquets, center pieces and arrangements. We frosted and painted old sealer jars to make lanterns. We bottled and labeled own wine. Each bottle had a different album cover of music we love as the label. Each table had a vintage lace table cloth, borrowed from a loved one or found at a thrift store by myself and my sister. The head table cloth was crochedby my Amma. A friend made the amazing pumpkin spice with brown butter icing, and devils food cake with chocolate ganace icing cupcakes, as well as the surprise wedding cake!

Cocktail hour featured alt country, rockabilly and folk music, games in the green space, and a scavenger hunt for the kids.

Dinner hour featured low key music, BBQ, served on vintage china, Bride and groom games, and short and sweet speeches. We had out first dance outside (Ingrid Michaelson- You and I) in the green space, with our loved ones around us, and the sun setting over beautiful Clearwater.

Because it was 2 hours from the city, most people who were not saying overnight (about half) went back to the city.

My new husband and I snuck off for a little photo- shoot at dusk on a train bridge.

The evening was spent with great music, drinks, straw bales, good friends and family and a bonfire.

At the end of the night D and I went back to our cabin in the attic, in our 100 year old farm house b&b, soaked in the hot tub...

I was pretty much the most perfect day of my life.

5 weeks yesterday

2009-07-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

83 Days

2009-06-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

I bought myself a new wedding dress. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I went to Fargo, wedding dress shopping with a friend, for her. She convinced me to try on "just a couple".
I put it on and knew I had to buy it. But...I practiced some serious self restraint and left without it (after I had been warned that I had better no come back with another dress).

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this was the style I wanted right from day 1 (vintage 50's style, fun, more casual, like my Granny's from 1960). It also suits our wedding more than the style of my first dress.

I then tried on my first dress, and realized I fell so much more comfortable in the new one.

When I told D, and meantioned the price, he said " just buy it". So I did. And I'm soooooo happy. I love love love it!

And now the coundown is on. 83 days. 1 day shy of 12 weeks. There's alot of work to be done, but I mostly feel like it's all under control. I have a list...everything is in priority sequence. It's just a matter of finding the time to get it done.

My ladies- only bidal shower is today. 2 hourse from now. I feel a bit awkward about going and accepting gifts and it being all about me. But I guess that's what happens when you get married :)

209 Days

2009-02-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

Our bouquets and arrangements are going are going to be made of sunflowers, barley & prairie grasses.

Let's talk about DIY.

One of our Groomsman's parents have a farm in Clearwater and they are allowing us to use a portion of their land to grow our sunflower.

We're also welcome to help ourselves to the barley. Needless to say there is also an abundance of prairie grasses free for the picking.

We'll have a back up plan in case the sunflowers don't work out...I have a good felling they will though.

212 Days

2009-01-29T18:11:00.001-08:00

The Venue

Town Hall in Clearwater Manitoba. pop. 64.

Clearly this is a grain elevator, not actually the town hall. But this is a general idea of how the town looks.

There's plenty of trees, valleys, train bridges, creeks, barns (old & new), grain fields, cow pastures, old homesteads, ancient cement bridges...

The town hall has a full industrial type kitchen, a bar, a stage and lots of room for dinner & dancing. The rental includes tables & chairs as well.

There's also a fire pit outside. We're going to build a horseshoe pit, and come up with some other games to play. And plenty of room to camp!

Some local organic farmers have created The Harvest Moon Local Food Initiative (HMLFI) in an effort to try and create a more local, fair and sustainable food system right here in Manitoba. They hold the Harvest Moon Festival every September (2 weeks before the wedding). Just so happens they may be able to help us out (lighting, hay bales, a tent...)

They've also converted the shut down school into to a series of work shop classrooms & 6 bedrooms. Which we are apparently free to use...

There are also quite a few B&B's and rental cabins in the area...

Total cost: $300-$400

213 Days.

2009-01-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

And no, this cheese nut fella is not my husband to be.

There will be no stuffy dress clothes at my wedding. I want everyone to be comfortable (yet still look impressively bad ass). I also don't want the wedding party spending a boat load of money on some ridiculious outfit that they may or may to curse me for later on.

> Those are the shirts we've purchased for our groomsmen. Not only are they also awesomely vintage for the wedding day, but they will double as groomsman gifts. We plans to get each one embroidered with something specific to each guy. We know our whole wedding party will wear em' again.

Total cost for Groomsmen shirts: $50.00
Total cost for Grooms Shirt & a bad ass belt: $62.00

My Dress

2009-01-27T17:47:00.001-08:00

This is my dress. But that is not me. The dress however, is very 'me'. More than perfect actually.

It's beautiful. There is a little bead work around the neckline and under the bust line.

It was the first dress I tried on. It fit like a glove. No alterations needed. And marked down 5x to $100. I hesitated because it was so cheap, it didn't seem real. And I've always been told don't buy the first thing you try. It was from David's bridal in Fargo, ND. I left thinking I would find a pattern I like better and have it made for cheaper (did my research...not possible).

I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. Shortly after I was on the phone with my Amma and I mentioned the dress...I was going to buy it If I went down again and it was still there. She insited on buying it, if I was sure it was the one. It was. I made the call. It was still there. They don't deliver to Canada, so we had our good friend in Fargo pick it up and keep it at her house until the next time we came. I LOVE it. Athought I haven't tried it on in months...a little nervous about that...should probably hit the gym...and keep up with the Yoga.

Total Cost: $102 (paid by my Amma)

My Ring (s)

2009-01-27T17:12:00.001-08:00

We're both as Irish as any two Canadian Prairie kids can be...

Years before we met, he was on a vagabond road trip to Toronto, had some time to kill and not a penny to his name, and ended up wandering into the Clauddagh House on Yonge Street. Apparently he saw this ring, and knew this would be the one he would give to the future Mrs. Livingstone.

It's a Claddaugh. The elements of this symbol are often said to correspond to the qualities of love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). The expression which was associated with these symbols in the giving of the ring was: "With my hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my love."

I don't do diamonds (too much blood), and I don't do yellow gold (hideous with my skin tones), so he had it custom made with white gold and emeralds in the crown. It's beautiful.

Total Cost: $700- $800 ( exact price forgotten)

The Plans

2009-01-27T17:06:00.000-08:00

- Country /Prairie Wedding (Sunflowers, prairie grasses, hay bales and warm fall colors)
- 180- 200 people
- Under $10 000 in total (preferably closer to $6000 or $8000)
- As DIY, sustainable and pretty as possible

214 Days.

2009-01-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

I got engaged July 2, 2007. It was unexpected and didn't seem real until recently, when I realized the wedding day is creeping up...and suddenly, after a two+ year engagement, here I am. 7 months away from the big day. It's amazing...I never thought I would be one of those wedding obsessed girls. I always knew I wanted to get married, but I never gave much thought to the actual wedding. Of course I knew I wanted something outdoorsy, sustainable, beautiful, and creative...but never really though past that point. Now I find myself thinking about it every free moment. And damn is it fun!

I have a regular everyday life blog on livejournal (autumnsky79) that I have been faithfully writing in for the last 6 years. After the creativity kicked in full force and I began my seemingly obsessive searching the internets for inspiration and ideas, I discovered blogger to be one of the best sites for the DIY and creative minded. So here I am. With a wedding blog of my very own. I need a place to record all of my ideas (I can't include photos in my scribbly day planner)...

Apparently planning a wedding, especially the homemade, as sustainable as can be, and local (almost) everything, can be a bigger deal than I had ever imagined. I love it, and wouldn't have it any other way...there's just so many little details to remember. I always have a little day planner with me at all time so I scribble things as they come to me in day dreams...
So far so good, though, especially when it comes to the budget. When we first got engaged, we set the date and it all seemed so far away. It took us a couple of months for us to even decided on a venue.

I would have loved to have held in in my Grandparent's back yard as all the women in my family have to date, but their beautiful little rural heaven has now been swallowed up by suburbia. It just wouldn't have the same feel.

Some other ideas the were put out there were the lake and the group camping area at Bird's Hill Park. The last camping trip the summer we got engaged was at the Harvest Moon Festival. That's when, although we had been semi secretly engaged for a few months, D gave me the ring.

After a little break (ok...maybe big and dramatic break up), the year before, at the same festival, we realized that we were still in love and the we were going to give it another shot. In retrospect, it has always been a magical and special place for us, and it just seemed right when it was suggested to us, by what has turned out to be one of the grooms men's mom.

The one thing I knew from the beginning though is that we would need to do this on a strict budget. Although it is one of the most important days of one's life, It can certainly still be beautiful even when thoughtfully sticking to a budget. Apparently, putting it out there from day 1 works, since everything seems to be falling into place...and so far, we're actually spending less that I had originally thought we would...

So here goes...